antabuse no prescription buy Prednisone without prescription medrol no prescription synthroid no prescription Super Levitra Kamagra without prescription Buy Nolvadex buy amitriptyline online buy ventolin abilify no prescription buy Amoxicillin Black Cialis
  • Sex Education for Adults

    Sex Education for Adults

    >> The first chapter is free!

  • save1

    The Seedy Side of Crime In The United States, Child Prostitution

    Why are we tolerating child prostitution and forced prostitution in the United States?

  • Lost boys

    The Lost Boys

    >> I was heavily quoted in this piece about women’s sexism.

MANY WOMEN HAVE ROUGH SEX FANTASIES, INSTRUCTIONS INCLUDED HERE TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS

Anonymous Question I’m playing catch up on some previous questions.  This one came in more than a month ago, and I’m afraid I’ve been a little slow to answer:

My wife and I are both Christian Faith and have a question about a fantasy we both have. We both are wondering if it is okay for use to roll play in a rape type setting.
Thanks for your input ! [sic]

So, basically the question is: is it okay for Christians to role-play rape scenarios? And I guess we could expand this to include other violent/forceful scenarios as well.

I’ve often said that just about anything goes in the marriage bed so long as it’s between spouses, with the obvious exceptions of doing harm, either physically, emotionally or spiritually.  And I think this practice might fall under the spiritual harm category for me.

I get the draw for a rape-scenario, for both the man and the woman.  So, let’s look at why this is appealing to some first.

Where the man is the aggressor and the woman is the victim

This is the most common rape scenario, and in fact is one of the largest fantasies for women, believe it or not.  Some might have trouble believing that.  After all, for men it’s easy to understand, the man gets what he supposedly wants (sex), and it comes with no strings or consequences (at least in the fantasy, in real life, you go to jail, don’t do it).  But what’s in it for the women that this is a fantasy reported among women (though one they don’t actually want to experience)?

Well, women get a loss of control and to experience a man who is assertive, in control and confident, and all the data I’ve seen points to the fact that the vast majority of women are starved for that kind of attention.  It’s not that they want to be raped, its that they want to experience a confident and assertive leader in the bedroom.  Likewise, I don’t think men want to rape a woman, I think they want intimacy and a rape fantasy is just an expression of the hurt and frustration they feel at being refused by their spouse who is supposed to be the one person who loves and cherishes them above all else (excepting God).

Where the woman is the aggressor and the man is the victim

I thought perhaps I’d tackle this scenario as well, since they weren’t clear which it was they were asking about, and this happens as well, though much less frequently.  For the women, often , though not always, these cases stem from a past abuse, and it’s less about sex, and more about regaining control, about having sex under their power and no one else’s.  For men, I think it’s generally much simpler, again: To be so wanted and desired by a woman that she won’t take no for an answer.  That’s speaks to one of our deepest needs: to have a woman that wants desperately to be our sexual partner, so that we feel like we’re attractive and seen as a desirable mate.  See, we have our insecurities too.

Understand the underlying theme

So, I think instead of the rape fantasy, you should explore the underlying themes and then find a way to implement them into your sexual encounters.  If you’re desiring a strong, aggressive, confident lover, well, then he needs to start growing in that direction rather than just putting on mask for a short time.  Chances are, she doesn’t want you to just be confident and assertive in the bedroom, but in the rest of life as well, something we as men don’t learn to be anymore.

If it’s the loss of control, then maybe start playing with bondage, enjoy the feeling of a restriction of movement to heighten other sensations.

But, playing out a rape scenario, to me, that is a dangerous game, and it violates this:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

We should not glorify violence or sexual immorality, even in play.  At least that’s my opinion, since you asked.

If you want more information about looking into the reasons for fantasies and how to deal with difficult ones, I suggest you check out my book review of The Fantasy Fallacy by Shannon Ethridge.  It goes into a lot more detail and depth on the topic than I can address in a post.

I INCLUDED THIS AS A GUEST POST.  THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED HERE ARE INDICATIVE OF MANY CHRISTIANS LACK OF COMFORT WITH SEXUALITY.  CHURCES NEVER TEACH ALL THE SEX POSITIVE MESSAGES FROM THE BIBLE.  IF YOU WANT TO READ ALL THE SEX POSITIVE MESSAGES AND HOW TO HAVE SAFE ROUGH SEX THEN ORDER MY BOOK PICTURED BELOW.  ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO CUT AND PASTE THE TITLE INTO THE AMAZON SEARCH BAR AND THE BOOK WILL COME RIGHT UP.

Sex Education for Adults Secrets to Amazing Sex and Happily Ever After Too

 

Sex Educationby MarriageCoach1

 

 

Pin It

7 Sexy Traits That Will Cause a Man To Be Interested in You and Pursue You

  7 Undeniably Sexy Traits That’ll Spark A Guy’s Interest In You By Nancy Nichols SHARES WeHeartIt Like it or not, dating is a game. Play your cards right and you’ll land a great man! A man recently posted a comment on my blog saying (and I quote with disgust and embarrassment): “Bad advice, babe. Men […]

Continue

Easy Tips to Avoid Fighting in Your Marriage

entertains, educates & inspires marriages TODAYS POST IS A GUEST POST FROM HITCHED A GREAT BLOG WITH A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS dispute 6 Easy Tips to Avoiding Arguments in Your Marriage Avoiding arguments in your relationship takes practice and patience. Here are six tips to help squash the beefs. BY KATIE AND CHRIS VANNIER DepositPhotos Some […]

Continue

69 Horror Stories

Aug 18, 2015 @ 3:38 PM Sex & Relationships 69ing 69 Women Reveal Their Most Awkward 69ing Stories Ever Most 69ing is awkward, but these moments are especially awkward. By Lane Moore No matter which way you do it, most 69ing is awkward​. Different heights, weird angles, and getting too wrapped up in how good […]

Continue

Nine Things You Should Not Do If You are Recieving a Blow Job

Aug 18, 2015 @ 6:49 PM Sex & Relationships 9 Things Not to Do When Receiving a Blow Job ALERT: You are not entitled to a BJ. By Dolly Hanna 656Shares   Some women hate giving blow jobs. Some women love it. But even women who love it will admit there are some not-so-great things […]

Continue

3 TIPS TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The #1 Way To Affair-Proof Your Relationship: Don’t Be A Zombie By Tammy Nelson Here’s how. As a relationship therapist, I see cheating couples every day sitting in my office looking dazed and confused, like they have no idea what just happened to them. They move unconsciously, sluggishly, like Zombies waking up from a bad […]

Continue

Men Here Are 11 Things NOT TO DO WITH A WOMAN IN THE SHOWER

Aug 12, 2015 @ 5:27 PM Sex & Relationships                                                                                                                             showering shower sex 11 Things Not to Do When Showering Together If you fart, you have to leave. By Lane Moore 1.5kShares   Getty 1. Do not pee on someone unless they are like, “Yo, pee on me.” This is not hilarious or cute, and will […]

Continue

New Study Indicates 80% of Adults Sexted Last Year

      How Common Is Sexting? Over 80 percent of survey respondents report sexting within the past year Source Newsroom: American Psychological Association (APA) more news from this source Contact Information Available for logged-in reporters only Citations American Psychological Association’s 123rd Annual Convention TORONTO — The practice of sexting may be more common than […]

Continue

My Blog Just Went Over a Half Million Page Views

I wish to thank all of my readers for your support.  It is gratifying to achieve this benchmark.  As a way of saying thanks for 1 week I will be giving a free copy of my book for those who ask.   All you have to do is subscribe to the blog if you have […]

Continue

5 REASONS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER ADDING ANAL SEX TO YOUR LOVE LIFE

 I WAS HEAVILY QUOTED IN THIS ARTICLE.  IT IS A GUEST POST FROM YOUR TANGO   5 Reasons Butt Sex Is The Best Sex Ever (Yup, We Said It) By Aly Walansky 637 SHARES FacebookTwitterPinterestMore An anal orgasm can truly be the best, most powerful orgasm you have ever had! If, that is, you do […]

Continue
%d bloggers like this: