6 Ways to Have More Sex

This is a great guest post from Men’s Health Magazine and the last post from the single girl column enjoy John WilderGuys, you’ve taken a beating in more than one of my posts. I love you for taking the heat and just shaking your head (or dropping in a comment) when you thought I may have lost my mind. It’s been fun, but this is my last post as The Single Girl.

As a goodbye gift, of sorts, here are six principles that should guide you in relationships. Follow them and they won’t just make you a better boyfriend, but a better man. Plus, you’ll get laid. Like, a lot!

RESPOND WHEN SPOKEN TO
We all need personal space, we get that. But if you’re tethered to your iPhone 24/7 but don’t respond to our text message, it’s insulting. Communication is not just for arranging booty calls. In the grand scheme of things, how you communicate with someone reflects how much you respect them. If she is annoying you with her texts, calls, or need for attention, re-examine your communication style. Be clear, be honest, and be respectful. If you are doing these things, she shouldn’t be feeling the need to reach out constantly. Answer her, and if you don’t want to, well . . . that’s your answer, isn’t it?

MAKE LIKE ANDERSON COOPER
And ask questions! Show enough interest in her as a person to ask what she wants and what makes her happy—and not just in the bedroom. Then try—really hard—to fulfill her wants. Engage in her life a little! Thoughtful gestures and honest interest with someone you truly want to be with should come pretty naturally. If you can’t see yourself doing that, do everyone a favor and walk. It could be the nicest thing you do for her.

QUIT TAKING THE WRONG RISKS
It’s amazing that some men will ride without a helmet (any bike or vagina), but are hesitant to take a risk emotionally. You get what I’m saying here, boys. No risk, no reward. I am insanely tired of people thinking vulnerability is a bad thing. Genuinely, I believe there is great strength in it and if you want your lady to be happy, I am telling you STOP BEING A CAVEMAN. At least get out of your cave every once in awhile, OK?

INVEST IN POST-IT NOTES
So what is this affirmation thing I always speak of?!? It is giving your lady a little positive reinforcement. There is no risk in affirmation. If you’re afraid you’ll build someone up to the point where she realizes you aren’t good enough for her, then YOU aren’t good enough for HER. So AFFIRM AFFIRM AFFIRM! Declarations every once in a while of how you feel for your lady and others in your life do not make you less of a man. They make you a man who can fulfill the emotional needs of a woman, as well as her sexual needs. I mean, you want sex, right? And sex makes YOU feel wanted and desired. That is what affirmations do for women. Suck it up. Write it on a Post-It note if you have to, but do yourself a favor and just try, no matter how silly you may feel.

GET NAKED, OFTEN
Women like the experience of sex. We like the intimacy. We love to feel your body against ours. We love to feel like you want to explore and enjoy every inch of us. We love to feel completely desired. I am telling you that this alone fulfills a need for us that may be difficult to express. I realize that orgasms are important to you. While they are pretty awesome and important to us, too, they aren’t our end game. We want to know that you want to take the time to make out with us and to partake in foreplay. If she doesn’t orgasm, don’t freak. Just make sure you are tending to her sexual needs by making her feel amazing.

ENJOY YOURSELF!
Have fun. Relationships are hard work. They are not right for everyone at every moment. Don’t do this for any reason other than really wanting to. Any other reason leads to resentment. Respect yourself enough to stay true to what works for you. Stop blaming the other person for your bad decision to stay or your inability to leave.

With that, I make the choice to leave our relationship. I’m not the “single girl” who started this blog. I can’t be defined by such simple terms. Being “single” is not who you are, it provides no insight into your character, talent, intellect, worth, or willingness to engage with others. I actually don’t think being single is such a big deal.

So am I still single? Maybe, maybe not. The fact is, it doesn’t matter. I CAN BE HAPPY EITHER WAY. I wish the same for you.

Farewell my friends. Thank you for reading. Good luck out there!

Kate